TEACHERS; COACHES & YOUTH LEADERS:

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In this Discussion I would like to speak to those whom would be considered a part of the “Extended Family.” By this I mean those individuals who do not reside in the family home, but do have Regular Contact, are an Authority Figure, and Have Influence on the development of, or certain Perspectives of young people.

 

This Discussion is not limited to the categories first mentioned in the title, rather it also includes a number of additional categories and titled positions like; Scout Master or Sensei (Karate Instructor). I am sure you get the idea... outside of the Family, has regular contact, and is influential.

 

The first thing I would ask a Teacher, a Coach, or any other Youth Leader is to NEVER FORGET that your involvement with someone's child, who is not your own, IS A PRIVILAGE that must be continually earned. It's not that the child has been placed with you for open reasons or just because, rather the child has been placed with you for very specific reasons, and for this illustration we will say, to learn something specific: Math perhaps, maybe baseball or Karate... What ever it is, it is important not only what you are teaching but the manner in which you teach it.

 

So what is meant by the manner in which you teach it? It's not that you instruct or illustrate to the kid that he or she should hit the ball and run to 1st base. It's that when you instruct him or her to do it they reply something like; “Yes sir.”

 

You are the Jr. High School Baseball Coach and PE Teacher with 10 years experience. You have been involved in sports, baseball in particular, since you were a kid. You played all through school including college. You worked hard and stayed focused on your goals and graduated with a Masters in Sports Science. You went into debt (student loans) to pay for your education and later this year they will be all paid-off. You deserve the respect you have earned.

 

When you ask people to answer you with a Yes Sir, No Sir or a Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am it creates something special... and when you answer back; “Thank you Sir,” or “Thank you Ma'am” it creates a Reciprocal Respect between teacher and student – and that is something special. Kids don't usually receive Reciprocal Respect – which makes them feel valued. Kids, young people are usually just told what to do, and they do it or get into trouble. So they do it out of Fear, which makes them feel less than valued.

 

So even though it may seem like a “Hard line” approach, the demand for and the show of Respect... Reciprocal Respect actually brings much more personal Values into the relationship. People seem to do better in a structured environment.

 

Don't DEMAND respect just because you are in a position or have a certain title. True, real, actual RESPECT is earned through your actions... past, present, and future.  So Teachers, Coaches, and all Youth Leaders... if you want the respect, earn it through your own behaviors.  Talk the Talk; and Walk the Walk. 

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LEAD BY EXAMPLE!