PARENTING:

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The following discussion is a mix of accepted fact, and experience based opinion.  See if you agree.​

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Parenting is the single most important job, activity, obligation, and responsibility that anyone on this planet can have.  It is more important than being the President or the Pope.  More important than being a Teacher, a Mentor, or a Counselor, or a Cop... why?  Because being a Parent is all of those things and much more.  There is not any other position in our social structure that is more dynamic, more influential, more demanding, or more unpredictable than being a child's Parent.  Not if you want to achieve the most successful outcome that you are capable of.

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So let's discuss what the "most successful outcome that you are capable of" means.

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Each of us has some Parenting Skills.  Sometimes they are good and sometimes... not so good.  Most of us do not take classes, or read books, or really do much prep work regarding being a parent. Yes, there are some exceptions, but most of us do not.  We fall in love.  We become pregnant.  We are Parents.  Just like that.  So the Parenting Skills that we do have, where do they come from?  From our parents of course, and the way in which we were raised.

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For me, one of the primary keys in raising great kids is Parental Awareness.  In other words, knowing that children, from the day they are born are learning; watching, listening, feeling... soaking up information like a sponge.  Learning from you, the Parent how to walk and talk.  How to use a spoon or tie a shoelace. Children also learn about love, consideration, security and fear.  Yes, again our kids learn these things from us, their parents.  The first 5 years of a child's life sets the foundation upon which their lives and their perspectives about life will develop. So new parents especially must ask themselves:  What kind of foundation do I want to provide for my child?  Love, security, patience, and understanding or something at the other end of the spectrum - hate, insecurity, anger, ignorance?

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New Parents, be aware that if you, yourself were hit in anger as a child it is very likely that you will also hit your child when you become angry.  It is what you learned to do.. how you learned to react in a particular circumstance or situation.  It is one of those Parenting Skills that you inherited from your parents.  The same goes for Hugging or Kissing your child to express joy or love. Praising and recognition for a job well done.  

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There is a whole list of good, positive things that Parents can teach their children, and there is, of course, a list of not so good, negative things that we could also teach.  Be careful  and be aware of the home / family environment that is established by the behaviors, expectations, and demands of the Parents.  Love is better than hate - so teach love in your home through your own example.  Structure is better than not having any - so have some family rules, standards, chores, and schedules.

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Punishment and negative sanctions are also a part of Parenting.  I will tell you that you do not have to physically or mentally hurt a child to make a point of punishment.  I always had a discussion with my children first in order to provide them with an understandable reason as to why what they did was wrong.  Sometime this discussion would be followed by a single slap on the bottom or a time-out, or the loss of some other activity or privilege.  If an activity or privilege was taken away, there is always a way to earn it back through good behavior.

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